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Friday, August 16, 2002

Sara: Snarkfest: Asking for money in a poem is charming, right?

I found this in the poem section of one of the wedding mega-sites:

We know you want to find something nice
But it's such a hassle to find the right price
So come and enjoy the day all sunny
We really would appreciate a little money.

There is another poem which seems to advocate using piggy banks as centerpieces:

Little piggy on the table
Will grant your wish if he is able
Drop some coins in his tummy
He finds the newlywed funds very yummy

Because that's what you really want to stare at while you're eating. A solicitation for money. Charity dinners aren't this blatant. Also, I don't have very many wishes which can be granted by a ceramic pig.

This is from the intro to one of the give-us-money poems:

Below is a poem I wrote for a friend who is getting married and does not want to register anywhere for gifts. Since she has been living with her fiancée for 5 years and already have a house completely set up, they did not want any gifts at the wedding. She is getting married in Tahoe in a small informal non-traditional wedding and thought this would be more appropriate in her situation. Although some say this is not etiquette to do I think that it is becoming more and more common and appropriate for our time.

I don't understand the connection between "not wanting gifts" and asking for money, or how the cash grab is "more appropriate for her situation" - what situation would that be? Why does expressing something tasteless in the form of a badly-written poem make it ok? Oh, right. It doesn't.

I'm going to be really catty here, but this made me laugh, because it says more about the person writing it than about the people who are being criticized - on one message board a bride was complaining about her husband's 'cheap' family:

I was highly insulted when we received a present of flimsy towles from JC Penny - YUK! I hate JC Penny and would never consider gtetting a wedding present fopr someone from there unless I didnt like them.

I wonder if his family has the same philosophy...? Maybe they only give that gift to people they don't like - such as this bride. I certainly don't like her. More likely, though, his family thinks it is a very nice gift, which towels are, and Miss Bride needs to get over the idea of being 'highly insulted' when people are not paying tribute to her at her expected level. What's the insult here?

I'm usually not this bitchy, but stuff like this seems to be what weddings are all about these days, and it bothers me. I get edgy when I read rant after message board rant against people who came to the wedding and didn't bring a gift, or brought a small gift that was worth less than the cost of the meal (this seems to be a huge insult in some circles), or hear about people who are counting on cash gifts in order to pay for a wedding they can't afford. I want to start handing out smacks with my trusty cluestick.
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Thursday, August 15, 2002

Sara: Obey the Chicken Lady!

Many new additions to the Cavalcade of Bad Bridal Fashion. The name is a bit wrong, though - it has turned out to be more about weird styling and photography in bridal advertising. Some of the dresses are actually nice, but then some stylist thought that the models would look better with radio antennas on their heads, or stuck into contorted poses, or decorated with strange objects. Are bridal industry photographers and stylists the most bored people in the world? "Well, maybe if we do her hair so it's more Big Bird-esque, I'll feel like taking the picture..."

As an aside, everyone is coming back from vacation this week and it is greatly increasing the Joy Factor in my life. Ryan and Jon even brought me some very cool Moose Pajamas from Colorado, which I will wear to next week's slumber party.
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Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Sara: Wedding Enjoyed By No One But Bride

The Onion has a fabulous wedding story.

ps - this was posted to a couple of the wedding message boards and people thought it was real. Heh.
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Sunday, August 11, 2002

Sara: Shoe Karma

I've started working on my petticoat, and I'm realizing that the Shoe Issue now looms large - that's right, I need to find some shoes to wear with this thing so I can make the petticoat and skirt the correct length. Duh. Fortunately, the end of white shoe season is upon us, which should mean that I will be able to find something on sale. I want to avoid pain. Beyond that, I'm pretty flexible. Maybe I'll get lucky at Marshall's or TJ Maxx or Ross. My goal is to spend less than $20 on the shoes. The white shoes that I am unlikely to ever wear again. Must hit Goodwill again this week, also.

Of course, if I have really excellent shoe karma I will find somethng in the right shade of sage, to match the bodice. Sadly, I do not have excellent shoe karma. I think you have to be born with it, like Ryan and Leigh clearly were. Great shoes find Leigh and just leap into her hands.
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