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Saturday, October 12, 2002

Sara: Favorite sites

I think I've mentioned Crafty Chica before, but I will do it again. She has the best projects!

Pattern Showcase makes me wish I didn't already have all this wedding-related sewing to do.

Fabric Blowout - especially the Novelty and Just For Kids sections, which always seem to have delightful fabric. I've ordered from them a couple of times and they always ship really quickly.

I re-watched Almost Famous tonight. Love that movie.

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Sara: Maaartha Stewart killed me...

Languidly relaxing on the couch and looking at Martha wedding porn this evening. Very happy to see the article about men's suits. I know it shouldn't matter, but having it there does seem to legitimize the choice a bit, and maybe it will help get rid of that 'the groom must be in a dinner jacket for any wedding at any time of the day' crapola. Dennis will be wearing a suit for the wedding.

Those enormous cascade bouquets are terrifying. [about to make a vague reference that maybe 4 people other than Ryan and Leigh will get] - have you ever seen the movie Tormented, either the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, or the straight one? The part where the ghost dumps seaweed all over her former boyfriend's bride's dress - that's what one of the bouquets looks like. Flowers By The Undead. Maybe not my look.

I can't help noticing that a bouquet that is about 3 times as large as the ones Martha has been showing for the past few years is going to need a lot more flowers...flowers that someone has to pay for...is this a Bridal-Industrial Complex backlash against the small handtied bouquets that anyone with an afternoon and a pair of wire cutters can make? How surprising that we should go from that to highly structured, large bouquets.

Similarly, the latest cutting edge wedding invitations are letterpress or foil-stamped - technologies that most of us don't have at home. It's really interesting to watch the industry try to stay ahead of the DIY crowd.
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Friday, October 11, 2002

Sara: Why I'm not getting my own show on HGTV

I'm slightly more than moderately freaked out about my parents coming to our place next week. I'm basically desperate to project a sense of well-settled grown-up-ness, which is super hard to do when I've only been living here a few weeks. Add to that the fact that someone referred to our apartment as 'not a very good place to live' this week and you have me compensating big-time. Panic would also be a good word.

Keep this mental state in mind while I tell you why there is now a hole in the bedroom wall.

Ok, it's not a hole. It's a circle of no-plaster (Hey! We have plaster walls! Who knew?) about the size of a small fuji apple, which, come to think of it, I wish I had right now. But it's really quite ugly.

Like all good sordid stories, this one begins at K-Mart. I happen to think that the Martha Stewart collection there doesn't especially suck, especially the curtains. I bought these for our dining room (which is entirely too grandiose a term for the space between the kitchen and the living room, which is currently better known as Box Central, and Where The Kitty Eats) and while I was there, I hit the hardware section for some screws for mounting things to the wall.

Dennis is off to see Les Claypool in Santa Cruz tonight, so I figured I'd get all Bob Villa and do some house stuff. Starting with mounting my nice hook rack behind the bedroom door, so I have a place to hang purses and scarves and things.

I bought the wrong screws at K-Mart. They are too short. And the plastic anchor thingies are just completely wrong, I guess, since the plaster cracked all the way around them when I tried to, um, hammer them into the wall. I know that's not the usual thing, but these said they could be hammered into the wall without having to drill a hole, which was appealing because I don't have a drill. They lied. The stupid things snapped right in half as soon as I smacked them with the hammer. And the plaster cracked. And then I think I cracked, because I kept trying to hammer them after they were all twisted and broken. There were 8 in the package when I started. I stopped trying when there were two left. Have I mentioned that I am a slow learner?

So, at that point, I did what any rational person would do, and went to the dining room to start putting up the curtain rods. I really like these rods; they are antique brass wtih cherry finials. I got them at Ross, so I guess no one wanted to pay full price for them. They came with their own brackets and screws that are slightly longer than my K-Mart ones. Ah-ha! Those went into the walls and held very nicely. Getting the rods up and the curtains in place took about 45 minutes, and I have to say it looks very nice.

That got my confidence up, so I decided to attempt the hook rack again, using the extra screws from the curtain rods. Because, you know, once you have one gaping wound on the wall, what's another one? I decided to try hanging the rack a bit above the first attempt, and it worked! It's mounted firmly to the wall. And there is a scarf hanging on the first hook which is never going to move, because it's covering the first hole.

Now I'm trying to decide if I feel manly enough to attempt to assemble my bedframe...
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Thursday, October 10, 2002

Sara: Sleeping

Having my bed again makes me very happy. We didn't get the frame put together last night. Instead, we ate pizza and Ryan and I looked at wedding porn and made luminaria while Jon and Dennis talked about, well, I'm not sure. Music, probably. Which was much more fun than putting together the odd pine jigsaw puzzle that is my bed. Keep in mind that it has been almost 2 weeks since we took it apart in the first place, which means whatever memory I had of how it all fit together is gone, gone, gone. I think I'll attempt re-assembly this weekend. In the meantime, the cat has no idea what we're doing on the floor.

Tomorrow, I have to drag my butt out of bed and get to work a bit early, since I have a lot of stuff to catch up on. Dennis wishes he had a big cartoon spatula ready to flip me out of bed, since I sometimes need to be forcefully removed from the nice...warm...sheets and can't I just have another 5 minutes? I am significantly less charming in the morning than you might think. Really.
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Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Sara: And what are your intentions toward our daughter?

My parents are on their way out here right this minute. Of course, they're driving from Tennessee, so I still won't see them for a while. I'm happy they're coming out, though. My dad hasn't been to California since 1994, so it's about time. Mom has been out a few times, since she is more willing to fly than he is.

So, one more reason to get our place looking like adult humans live there, and not grizzly bears with furniture and moving boxes. The place really doesn't look that bad, considering how long I've been there, but of course I have eleventy billion projects I want to do before they get here. Maybe three of which will actually get done.

We broke Dennis' bed yesterday (not what you're thinking - I flopped on it while I was getting ready for work yesterday and part of the frame just gave way and then my head was several inches lower than my feet were) which is ok since Ryan and I are finally going to move my bed out of my old house tonight. His bed was on its way out anyway, but now it will go to the dump instead of to charity. Dennis and I slept on the mattress on the floor last night. It was just like college. Well, except I wasn't drunk.

My parents already met Dennis back in June, when we went to Tennessee for Bonarroo, and they think he's downright fabulous. As well they should, of course.

Looking forward to getting my bed re-built and then showing Ryan all the new wedding porn this evening.
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Sunday, October 06, 2002

Sara: New Wedding Porn

I got new wedding porn yesterday. First, Dennis surprised me with the new Martha, and then we went out to retrieve food and stopped off at the drugstore to pick up some useful things like conditioner, and they had Elegant Bride AND a Precious Moments Little Golden Book called Weddings Are Beautiful. Which, near as I can tell, is designed to turn your flower girl into a bridezilla-in-training. It's also creepy to see those big-eyed children get married and then have the book talk about them starting a family right away. Pweshush Mowments figurines having sex. Pass the brain bleach.

Anyway. Martha does things with luminarias that delight me and make me wish I was having an evening wedding.

One of them, I *think* Elegant Bride, has one of those 'advice from the experts' things which is hilarious in its utter transparency. Bridesmaid dress designer Nicole Miller says, don't have your bridesmaids in different dresses because your wedding will look choppy.

[overheard at wedding: well, that was lovely, but the bridesmaids weren't in matching outfits and it just looked so choppy, I couldn't enjoy myself. I'm taking back the blender I bought them.]

Choppy. Right. This from someone whose income depends on selling a bunch of overpriced matching dresses. Next.

Oh, and a bunch of the wedding gown designers begged you to buy from a full-price, full-service salon, and the florists/photographers/musicians say that flowers/photos/music are really, really important. Thank you, bridal industry!
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Sara: It's All About Me

I've thought more about the whole The Wedding Is All About You issue, and I think I will amend it, especially since reading wedding porn gave me more perspective. (how often can anyone say that?)

I really don't mind when people who know us say that the wedding is about us - for them, it is. People who are coming to the wedding are giving up their Saturday afternoon because they want to see us get married. That's cool.

It bothers me when it is coming from someone who wants to sell me something, and uses the 'it's your wedding and it's all about you' card to do so. If you don't spend $1,000 on your flowers, you're cheating yourself, because today is all about you! You deserve a $5,000 dress, and, if you can't afford it, borrow the money (at 19% interest). It's the constant refrain of 'what you want isn't good enough, you have to want something better/classier/flashier' that pisses me off.

I sometimes wish for a formal class system (well, not really, but follow my reasoning) so that there wouldn't be this idea that we all should want the same wedding (formal dinner-dance with matching bridesmaids and guys in tuxes) regardless of our lifestyle/income/social standing.

That kind of wedding is just completely inappropriate for us. We have no business spending $20,000 on a party. I work for a church in silicon valley. I love my job, but the pay is a lot less than I was making as a (miserable) web geek. I'm madly in love with a brilliant writer who doesn't get paid for it. We're part of that overeducated, underpaid, really happy rung of the ladder, and moving up it isn't our goal. Why should I pretend otherwise on a day that is supposed to be All About Us? It bugs me to be told that I should be trying to ape the entertaining style of a group I don't even want to belong to.

I don't think everyone should have the kind of wedding we're having; I don't think that it makes us better/deeper/whatever than people who can spend more. I don't think big weddings are a waste of money if the money is readily available and is spent consciously.

I am happy that we're not spending money mindlessly, though. Everything we're doing for the wedding has been carefully thought out and considered from a variety of angles, with the most important one being, 'is it true to who we are?'

Have you ever been to a wedding where it was clear that the bride and groom were trying to have the big dinner-dance wedding, but had to cut every corner possible? There's always something sad about that, because you can sort of see the shadow of what the couple wanted but couldn't have. What's not there is more obvious than what is. Usually, the money spent on something like that could have paid for a really nice, more modest party that would have been more comfortable and fun for everyone. I hate feeling like a line-item in someone's wedding budget, and that odd sort of skimpy lavishness always gives me that vibe. 'We can't really afford to have you here' is not a comfortable message.
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