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Saturday, January 11, 2003

Sara: To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!

Dennis and I popped into Michael's this morning, and found boxes of those little wedding bells for $1.00. So, I now have 8 dozen little white metal bells to play with, and I'm only out $4.00 (actually the gift card I got for Christmas is smaller by $4.00). I wasn't planning on having them, but for $4.00, it seemed like something amusing. I'll get someone to pass them out and have people ring them as we're leaving the church. I don't think we'll have people throwing anything, so this will be a good alternative. At least, we're not planning on having them throw anything. If people show up with rotten fruit, well, we'll just deal with that in the moment.

The bells come with a little poem, of course, badly printed on one side of an icky cardboard tag (think cereal box):
May laughter and joy
fill the room
as we toast the
Bride and Groom.
Take this tiny Wedding Bell,
A sign of love to wish
them well, ring it loud
so all may hear, when the
Bride and Groom are near.

These are already in the trash. I don't really get what this is even telling you to do. Follow the couple around with a bell? Ring it whenever they get too close to you, as a warning to others? Wouldn't it be more efficient to put a bell on the bride and groom, so you can hear them coming?

Of course I got a nice big roll of sheer yellow ribbon to tie bows on the bells. Because I am deranged.
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Sara: Collapsing in a heap

The bride is just plain tired. I've had a lousy week. Nothing specifically awful, just Too Much Going On. I don't think I made it home before 8:30 any night this week, and when I got there it was pretty much just say hello to Dennis, eat, and then drop over from exhaustion. I've been a real treat to live with. Dennis has been wonderful; I've had good meals every night and a yummy lunch to take to work every day. But I really haven't been holding up my end of the partnership.

Last night, Friday, was the worst. I was really looking forward to hanging out with Dennis, making fun of Fastlane, and looking at my new wedding porn. It was going to be a great evening, but then I got bogged down with one of my side projects (I still do tech support for my former parish, and their Macs revolted this week) and didn't get home until almost 9:00. I did not handle this like a grownup. I felt very sorry for myself and was really whiny. Fortunately, we were able to get back on track after I hit the bathtub for a while and got over myself, but it wasn't my finest hour.
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Friday, January 10, 2003

Sara: you must do this

Go to mullets galore and then click on Picturebooks (stupid frames...) and then on #23, mulleted matrimony.

Proceed to guffaw. Then stare in shock as the horror unfolds. [warning: you'll see boobies]

Just for the record, I will not be appearing in my underwear at the wedding. Nor will anyone else involved. No one will dance on the tables. We're not having a dollar dance (ewww) but if we were, it would not involve the dollars being put into anyone's g-string. In the words of Crow T. Robot, "Do they really do that on Earth, Joel?"
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Thursday, January 09, 2003

Sara: Music!

At the brilliant suggestion of my friend Susan, I'm putting together a mini-choir to sing at the wedding. It's going to be some people who sing in the church choir, plus Jon and Ryan and my former roommates Bud and Eddie (assuming Eddie says yes). I'm SO excited about this.
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Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Sara: know what I'm sayin'?

Ok, this site has probably been out there forever and I'm really really behind, but this made me laugh really hard: go to asksnoop.com and enter the URL for going bridal or any other site of your choice.

I love that the snoop version of the navbar contains BrideAudit™ - don't let yo' guests stiff yo' ass!

Yes, I know, I'm 12.
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Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Sara: Next on FOX: When Brides Attack!

Bridezilla is a new show on FOX. How can I NOT watch?

The special will follow nine New York brides as they get ready for the Big Day -- and slowly lose their grip on sanity. The hour, set to air Monday, January 27, at 8 p.m., will be filled with a mix of temper tantrums and obsessive-compulsive outbursts as the wives-to-be use any means necessary to ensure the perfect nuptials.

Wow. Just wow.
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Sunday, January 05, 2003

Sara: Thinking about cake

Dennis' birthday was a lot of fun. We went to our favorite breakfast spot in the morning, and in the afternoon Ryan came over and helped me bake a birthday cake. I'm not sure I should really use the word 'helped' since there was only one of us in that kitchen who knew what she was doing and it certainly wasn't me. We used a spherical pan and weren't really sure what we were going to do with it but it ended up being a skull, which was sufficiently pirate-esque. I think it has kind of a nice Day of the Dead feel to it, and it has a pirate parrot on top and some little pirates around the bottom of the bowl. The pirates are slowly shrinking because they're made of fondant and can't support their own weight. They were much taller at one point.

We also went to Spun Sugar, which is a big ol' cake-stuff store in Berkeley. They have lots of gum-paste cutters and cake stands and cookie molds and things I didn't understand. Leigh got an icing air-brush for Christmas. Which means that we could have a wedding cake shaped like a van, with a large-breasted woman in a viking hat riding an eagle with the American flag clutched in its talons air-brushed on the side of it. Maybe she could make a little fondant-clay mullet dude hanging out the window, too. Who wouldn't want that? well, me, but the idea of such a thing existing still delights me

I have the new Martha wedding porn, and I don't really get the monogrammed cakes. I only like the one with the giant frosting C on the top, because it's like 'C is for Cake and that's good enough for me' but overall I'm not sure I need to mark the cake as mine. But, then, I don't have a wedding logo, either. I was afraid it would lead to the need for a wedding mission statement.
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