A humble collection of misguided bridal advertising.
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Awwww, her tribble died and she couldn't stand to part with him.
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This is SO National Geographic.
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You and your little art school friends can just go and have a nice little party at the cemetery. Why can't you be more like your sister?
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Of COURSE you can walk on water, it's your special daaaaay!
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I think this is supposed to be a pageant dress - but hey, brides, it comes in two shades of ivory - light ivory or strong ivory! I think this has Dream Wedding to a non-anatomically-correct guy written all over it.
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The only possible motivation for these dresses. Hey, what did the flower girl do to deserve this? She hasn't even been on the planet long enough to do anything really bad. I'm really sorry that the hot pink one isn't shown in it's teal-with-black-lace version. Yummy.
Oooh, and you get PhotoShop filter abuse, too!
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It is believed that she could not see the truck was about to hit her, due to the layers of tulle over her face. The driver of the truck was hyponotized by her cleavage and was unable to stop in time.
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What exactly is happening in this photo?
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 From the manufacturer's description: This gown is the ultimate in femininity and romance. Fitted bodice. Sweetheart neckline and ladylike puff sleeves are edged in lovely floral lace trim. Full skirt has double ruffle flounce with bow trimmed Cinderella pick-ups. Fully lined. All colors come with white or ivory lace.
Oh, so THAT's what femininity and romance are supposed to look like. I've really been doing it wrong.
This is the dress I use to threaten Ryan - if she's not a good Matron of Horror, she's wearing this. In teal. With matching parasol, floppy hat, and fingerless gloves. Oh yes.
I'm sure the people who make this dress would like to take it out back and shoot it, since it's a total 80s holdover, but they probably sell just enough of them to justify keeping it in the catalog. Some people have to go to work and do things they're not proud of.
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Yes, that's the most obvious joke ever. I'm sorry.
Maybe somewhere this is considered perfectly normal, but it creeps me right out. Little girls dressed up as brides - icky icky icky. Especially when they've stolen hair from The Thompson Twins.
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(dress: kinda pretty. photo: downright silly)
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Who's your favorite clown? Bozo!
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Are the people who do styling for bridal photo shoots just bored senseless or something? Hmmmm...what can we do to make this model look weirder?
Also note that the butt bow has become sentient and is now attempting to move around her body...it's at the hip now, but it's moving upward, and will eventually smother her.
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...and what the heck is that thing behind her? Did someone finally respond to that 'Larger Erections in Five Days' spam - and then use it for plant food?
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See, there really are dresses with matching parasols out there. And, apparently, sometimes they are made of denim.
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Was this damage inflicted by one of the kitties from My Cat Hates You?
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July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
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November 2002
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January 2003
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June 2003
July 2003
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